The Importance of Educating White People Rather than Attacking Them

Before anything, I'm a realist.

It's real that we have been oppressed for centuries.
It's real that we have the right to be angry about our unfair treatment worldwide.
It's real that white privilege is a problem all too common in modern American society.


Unfortunately, it's also real that we live in America: full of white voters, white politicians, and white police officers that all combine to form the lovely system that we have today. This system perpetuates white supremacy, even though "discrimination ended ages ago." Part of the reason that I started writing in the first place is to do my part to change this unjust system that has been forced upon African-Americans. We all have a voice and I want everyone to use theirs-- just in the most effective way.

Here's where some of you guys are going to hate me. And that's okay, just hear me out.
In my humble opinion, I think that we have to be less aggressive in the way that we come at people who aren't familiar with the issues we face (ie- most white people). I'm not saying to condone racism, because that's simply unacceptable. What I am saying, however, is that instead of attacking people for not knowing what it's like to be black (because they're not black), we move our goal to education and not just trying to "expose people's inner racism," when in most (not all) cases, it's simply ignorance because of things that they just don't have the exposure to.

Example-- Sam Smith. Here's a series he tweeted when a friend of his encountered racism in London.

Sam Smith is a white man who has had the privilege of never having to deal with racism. Ever. As a man in the music world who works with a lot of black professionals on a daily basis, should he have been more aware of issues that POC face? I think so. But, some black people attacked him on twitter for tweeting so "passively." Some responses were sarcastic, such as "white man becomes aware that racism exists," and other messages of that nature. Look-- Sam Smith is a white man. Because of his place in society, he will never have to deal with racism, and usually, when people aren't exposed to things that they don't have to deal with-- they're ignorant to them. Sam Smith tweeted to his millions of followers angrily about racism, and that gets attention, which is a good thing. I can name countless incidents of white people being absolutely flabbergasted when I informed them about some of the things that I've had to deal with growing up. Want to know why? Because they don't have to deal with racism! Ever! When people are so engaged in the #BlackLivesMatter movement and combating their struggles, they can often become blind to the harsh realities that are entirely too true of this nation. According to the US Census, 62% of Americans are white, which means that 62% of Americans don't have to know a damn thing about race or race relations to live a happy life. If we want change, we have to inform our white counterparts of the issues and not just attack them when they don't know about them because they don't have to live through them.

If I'm being completely honest, there's a myriad of racial issues that my black ass wasn't even aware of until recently because I grew up in mostly white community. No one talked about them because everyone was white, so no one had to. I had white friends, white history teachers, white principals, white coaches, and white counselors, all who didn't treat me any differently because I was black, (well, not differently enough that I could tell) and I really thought racism was a thing of the past and no one could tell me anything different. So, if a black girl in a white community didn't know anything about racism do you really think white people are aware? Again, this is NOT FAIR. This is NOT OKAY. It's an atrocity that we have to educate people about a problem that THEIR ANCESTORS started. It sucks, but I think it's one of the only ways that they're going to listen. And because of what I previously said about us living in a white nation, we have to get them to listen if we want laws to go our way and change to actually be seen. If we just attack people who don't know better, we just look like some angry mob from their standpoint. Do I think white people should have to know about the struggles they caused? Yes. Do I think they will if we don't tell them? No. It is not our JOB or responsibility to educate the masses. Our anger and aggression is so valid, but will it work? I want progress, and I think the route of education will make progress.

This brings me to another point. I'm sure by now we've all heard Macklemore's new song, "White Privilege II." Some people like it and some don't. I don't think it was meant for black people to like. I think that it was meant to reach more white minds and spark conversation in the minds of white Americans because any conscious black American already knows about what is going on and the all-too-relevant lyrics of today's conscious black rappers, my personal favorite being Kendrick Lamar. Macklemore, as a softer rapper, hits an audience that bridges the rock, pop, and rap categories-- an audience that is mostly white. Since the song came out, eight of my white friends (four who aren't up-to-par on social issues) have asked me my opinion on it and have asked if everything stated is true. Dialogue has been provoked, people have become aware--progress is being made. It's not much, but it's progress nonetheless. Now, tons of people think Macklemore wants praise for standing on his soapbox and making up for the guilt he has harbored for winning a Grammy over Kendrick Lamar. Could this be true? Honestly, only Macklemore could answer that question. Regardless, I respect him for the song and his previous action in the movement to preserving black lives and black culture. It's not just a song for him because he has been present at protests and previously active in the movement. Here's a photo of him at a Seattle protest for Mike Brown.

I'm not saying we have to all go out, hold hands, and sing Kumbaya. But what I am saying is that all white people aren't out to get us and education is the priority. I know this probably wasn't what you expected of me, so leave your opinion if you have a different viewpoint.

xo -Crys.

A Letter to My IB Seniors

You just finished college applications and it feels like a weight has been lifted, right? Oh don't worry, your IAs, CAS requirements, clubs, and study sessions for exams will replace that weight soon! I would be lying to you if I didn't say that this is probably going to be the hardest four months of your life. But I also would be lying if I said that you won't make it through. You will! You CAN do this!

IB has been hard since freshman year and after you get used to the workload, it's actually not too bad until your senior year. Its like everything gets thrown at you all at once and it does not stop. You're fine until about mid-October when you realize you have to actually fill out the college applications to get into the schools you want to go to. Oh and that Extended Essay? That's not going to write itself either! If you're a student who doesn't procrasti-- You know what? I'm not even going to go there because the people who don't procrastinate are probably doing some homework right now instead of reading this (please don't stop reading this, do your homework after).

Here are some tips to get through the rest of the year-

1) USE that agenda that you bought in the beginning of the school year and stopped paying attention to in September. Even if you use your phone, I promise that there is no feeling like being able to physically cross something off of a checklist.

2) Bring your laptop to school. I don't know if the school wifi still works on personal devices, but if it does, bring your laptop! I can't tell you how much time I have saved by using spare time at school to do things that I would only be able to do at home if I hadn't brought it with me.

3) Make sure that you are on top of your schedule. With so many things going on, it can feel like days are a blur. Make sure you're keeping track of everything you do so you don't miss any practices, meetings, or assignments.

4) Make the effort to talk to your teachers! They each have hundreds of students that they are responsible for grading and will most likely forget about things they said they'd do for you. (But DON'T pester them) This applies for your work too! If you're having issues with something, most will stay after class or will let you make an appointment to go over something).

5) Don't forget that you're not just an IB Senior, you're a senior! Make memories and enjoy your last couple months of high school. Go to events, take endless pictures, and cherish the rest of the time you have before you have to pay for your own food and textbooks. Seriously.

6) Don't worry yourself about the status of your college applications. Once they're submitted, they're submitted. There's nothing you can do but wait. I spent hours rereading my Columbia application after I submitted it and wondering if there was anything I could've done to make it better. Well guess what? My ass still didn't get in.

7) Look forward to graduation. I promise you, getting that diploma is the best feeling in the world.

8) Do not give up! Yes, senior year is hell and I won't try to downplay how hard it is, but can I tell you how amazing it is to have entered college with 45 credits? The beginning level English, History, and Psychology classes in college are hard and involve long readings and even longer papers! Do you want to be stuck in a class that has nothing to do with your major because you didn't work hard enough in high school? NO! Get it out of the way NOW! Brew your coffee because here come the all-nighters! Cry now and laugh later at all of your non-IB friends who have to take entry level classes in college.

You can do this. I believe in you guys. If you ever need anything, feel free to Facebook or Twitter message me, or email me at crystalmcduffy24@ufl.edu!

 xo -Crys.

MLK Day and Its Personal Meaning to Me

My grandmother, aunt, and great-grandfather are somewhere in this ocean of people.

It's 2016, and we're all woke and whatnot, but I've never publicly explained how significant the Civil Rights Movement is to me. My family has forever instilled this gratitude in me because I know that they fought for me. And for you.

For years, I hated being black. I hated my hair, my skin, my wide nose, and my thick thighs. Up until high school, I went to schools that were 85-90% white. Constantly being surrounded by people that didn't look like me, didn't understand my culture, and didn't have to go through the same things that I had to go through on a daily basis made me feel like everything about me was just wrong. I just never seemed to understand why I didn't fit in. Then, at family dinners, my aunt and grandma would share their endless stories about interactions with Dr. King and inviting Medgar Evers over for dinner and I rolled my eyes like I didn't have the most amazing family in the world. Current me hates me for doing this, but then again I hated myself up until I was around 16--but that's a-whole-nother article. 

I took everything for granted growing up. I lived in a nice neighborhood, had parents that supported me in whatever I wanted to pursue, and had everything I needed and pretty much whatever I wanted. I'm incredibly lucky. Up until recently, I never took the time to reflect on what got me here. Without the steps that Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. took, I wouldn't have the amazing opportunities that I have today. Without the March on Washington, or the Montgomery Bus Boycott, or numerous sit-ins that MLK started, I wouldn't be able to go wherever I pleased without question. Without the steps of trailblazers like my very own aunt, Verna Bailey, who was the first black woman to attend the University of Mississippi, I wouldn't be able to attend the best university in the state of Florida. Without my grandmother, Dr. Shirley Johnson's, participation in the March on Selma, I wouldn't be able to live peacefully in a southern city. Without my great grandfather, Samuel Bailey, founding and presiding over the Mississippi chapter of the NAACP, I wouldn't be a part of one of the greatest organizations in the nation that has provided me with a safe space to be able to talk about the issues that people of color face.

I'm so ashamed that it took me this long to thank those who paved the way for me, but I'm so glad we are taking the time to remember all of the amazing things that Dr. King has done for us. While King's work significantly improved our conditions, please don't think that we are done fighting. Systematic oppression, microaggressions, police brutality, and the "black tax" are just a few of the issues that all people of color still face today. So stay informed, stay aware, do your part, and never ever stop fighting. 

Happy MLK Day.

xo -Crys.

Makeup for a Quick Everyday Face in Under 8 Minutes

We all know one girl. No matter where you see her-- the dining hall, class, or the library, her face is always beat to the Gods. Foundation airbrushed, highlight looking like an angel's halo, eyeliner winged to perfection, you get the point. Well. I'm not that girl. I've never been a makeup guru and I'm probably not ever going to be one, but I have managed to figure out an easy morning routine that makes me look alive and dewy without making me look like I'm trying too hard and I've decided to share it with you!

Note- This is NOT a tutorial, (you can count on my girl Niyah for that, check out her youtube channel btw, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRvzxu4nyP8&feature=youtu.be) I'm definitely not qualified to give one and thats the point! This isn't for makeup addicts. Its just some easy steps for a quick morning routine.

Before: Makeup free, freshly washed face, eye bags on fleek, blackheads shining bright.

Step 1: Start with an under eye concealer that is one shade lighter than your skin. I use Covergirl + Olay- The De-Puffer eye concealer, because as you can see, eye bags are an issue for me. Just dab a little on a wedge and apply as needed to your under-eye area. Takes less than a minute!

Step 2: Apply foundation to your whole face, blending carefully with the concealer that you applied to your under-eye area. Be sure to apply lightly enough so that it doesn't look cakey, but heavily enough so that all your problem spots are taken care of. I use Maybelline Dream Liquid Mousse. It is airy enough that it won't look heavy on your face, but thick enough to take away my awful eye bags! Voila! 

Step 3: Add a few quick strokes of bronzer using a thick, fluffy brush to ensure that the end product doesn't look streaky. I use Covergirl truBlend Minerals. Since this is an everyday class look, I don't apply too much, so you may not be able to see the difference dramatically in pictures, but it looks fantastic for selfies in the sun. 

Step 4: My favorite step! Eyes! I use eyeliner, mascara, and a little eyeshadow. I use Benefit- They're Real Push-Up Eyeliner and Mascara. They are my favorite makeup products EVER! Just apply a little liner to your lashline (wings are optional, but are always a yes for me), a touch of eyeshadow, and mascara to make your eyes go from droopy to dazzling! Don't forget to brush through your eyebrows to make sure they're put together as well. I know filling in your eyebrows is really in right now, but every time I do it, I end up looking atrocious, so I opt out. 

And there you have it! Just let your hair down and you're ready to conquer class! 

Note- Except for my eyeliner and mascara, ALL of the products that I used to achieve my simple but sophisticated look are drugstore makeup products, which proves that you don't have to spend a paycheck at Sephora to look bomb. These are just a couple tips for an easy, everyday look. Hope it helps!

xo-Crys.

Business Casual-Chic

Here's a fashion refresher from social justice, because being black and conscious all the time is honestly exhausting. 

If I had to choose, I’d say my style is a combination of sleek and girly, with a touch of edgy.

As a student in the School of Business who is deeply involved in the fashion world (I’m employed by one of my favorite brands), I sometimes struggle to find that perfect balance between fashionable and professional, and I think that this outfit does it perfectly.

I’m actually playing with trends here, as the combination of black and navy used to be a huge no-no in the fashion world! If anyone is a veteran Fashionista, it actually used to be a sign in the theme song of the TLC makeover show, What Not to Wear, with Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. However, that show started in 2003 and the times have changed! Black and navy together are actually a huge yes! Especially with my silver zipper details and jewelry pulling the look together. Navy is especially great because it says that you mean business, but you’re not just wearing another black suit from Banana Republic.

One other trend that has been huge this year is snakeskin! My top-handle satchel adds a pop of fun to the outfit without it losing its business aspect as well. All of these elements create a fun look that will make you stand out at a meeting and not sink in!

You can get a fun look like mine by just finding a sleek jacket with whatever hardware color you wear the most jewelry in, skinny jeans and a statement bag!

xo -Crys.

Nigga, please.

We all know someone.
Most likely, more than just someone.
Someone who's not black who just loves to throw around the n-word like its not a big deal.

The adorable white girl that the hood guys love.
The Latino/Latina person who thinks they're "close enough."
The white boy who struggled a bit.
Or worst of all, the group of non-POC, upper-middle class, adolescents who think that it's okay because they have a black friend, or heard it in a song, or just feel like there's no issue with what they're doing whatsoever.

Mind you, these same people will stutter over word choice and then proceed with saying "African-American" instead of "black" when trying to describe someone to a black person because they don't want to come across as racist.

I don't necessarily know how I feel about it, and that's why I'm writing this now. I want perspective and feedback from the (almost 600) people who have read my blog (thank you guys so much, by the way).
I grew up in Cooper City, Florida, a small suburb that is over 90% white. There were 91 houses in the neighborhood that I lived in, and my family was the only black one. My perspective is going to be different than someone who has been surrounded by the riches of black culture their whole life, which is why I really hope this piece generates some feedback.

Besides in songs and overhearing random conversation that I had nothing to do with, I first heard the n-word used by my rather profane (but still loving and wonderful) aunt at a family event when I was around 12 years old. My politically correct mother looked appalled and literally shielded my ears as if that was supposed erase the last 2 seconds of my life. My grandmother, who marched on Washington and was close personal friends with southern Civil Rights leaders, was ashamed at her daughter (my aunt) for using a word that she fought so hard to eliminate from modern language. Now, there was some back and forth between the three aforementioned parties that my 12 year old self couldn't hear because I wasn't old enough, but I heard something about "reclaiming" the term. When I got home, I researched it.

I stumbled across an interview that Oprah did with Jay-Z, where he talks about his frequent use of the n-word. She did not like its use at all and wanted all people--black and white--to stop using it. He replied with the point that even if people stopped using the n-word in a negative way, another negative slur would take it's place. (Note: Fox and CNN's affinity for the word "thug.") He said that the power of a word lies in the speaker's intention, and if we can reclaim a formerly derogatory term to mean affection to a friend, then it's not a problem. I really agree with this. But then Oprah points out that both black and white people were screaming the n-word at a concert that she attended and it took him a little longer to formulate a response, which ended up echoing his previous one. I'd say I was at this point in this gray area when this interview was conducted, in 2009.

In 2009, I was in middle school with a bunch of white kids who were listening to Lil Wayne (back in his prime), Kanye West, Chris Brown and a multitude of other black artists who frequently used the n-word. I guess through music, the media and pop-culture, it just suddenly became okay for non-black people to use the n-word. Um. I didn't even use the n-word. I never said anything about it though, because as the token black girl with a short perm and thunder thighs that I was constantly trying to force into distressed shorts from Abercrombie and Fitch, I felt lucky to even have a semi-close group of friends, and I didn't want to seem like I was constantly playing the race card. (I really hated myself during middle school). It's not that it sat well with me, because it didn't, at all. I was just trying to be a twelve year old girl who got invited to the sleepovers and had someone to stand with in the lunch line and, at that point in time, my concern for popularity outweighed defending my blackness.

Now, its 2015. And I'm engaged in the news and media. And I'm not having the shit. Niggas die every day. I'm out here protesting for my niggas. White people will never know what it's like to be a nigga, but they want to say it so bad. All I can ask is why?

Why is is necessary for a white person to use the n-word?
Why do you feel that you can throw it around so freely?
Why do you want to say "nigga" so bad, but can't imagine what its like to really be a nigga?
Does it make you feel cool? Like you fit in?

Eminem has rapped for over twenty years in an industry filled with black people and has not said the n-word in any of his over 100 songs which black men co-wrote, produced, and recorded.

I've had coworkers say the n-word, I've had "friends" say the n-word, I've had classmates say the n-word and it just baffles me how freely it just flies out of their mouths like they're literally doing nothing wrong. It's not that these people are racist, because the majority of them are actually really cool. I just don't understand how the hell you think you're entitled to a word that my people endured generations of suffering from, for us to finally reclaim in a positive (that's debatable, but that's a-whole-nother piece) manner, and you just sit back and take it. Afros aren't ours anymore, slicked edges aren't ours anymore, cornrows aren't ours anymore, dreads aren't ours anymore. Are bonnets going to be on the Givenchy runway at 2016 Paris Fashion Week as a "French Inspired Silk Headpiece?" Well damn, if we can't have the n-word, what the hell can we have?

All jokes aside, if you're white and reading this, I really appreciate it, please leave some input in the comments section. If you're black and reading this, I really appreciate it, please leave some input in the comments section. Just think--the next time you go to casually use the n-word-- everyone wants to say "nigga," but do you really know what it's like to be a nigga?

xo -Crys.

White Student Union?

It has come to my attention that there is a Facebook page for a White Student Union, here at the University of Florida. We still don't know if it's satire, or if some people think that it's really necessary for the privileged to get some more privilege. Don't get me wrong,  I love white people. I've made genuine friendships with white people. I have no problem with open-minded people of any race. But the description of the group says that it was made "because every ethnicity deserves their own safe space." 

...
..
.

Safe space?
Really?
A SAFE? SPACE??????

Name ONE place where whites are statistically not as safe as other races?

Y'all are safe with the police.
Y'all are safe inside high-end retailers because there are no creepy salespeople following you around because you look like you might steal something.
Y'all are safe inside classrooms because SROs aren't coming in and pummeling you over the use of a cell phone.
Need I continue?

Everyone deserves a place to embrace their culture, but this is not embracing culture, it's promoting hate against people of color.

This page only has about five posts, and one is an article about how whites could potentially become a minority in the US due to immigration, and says that "Demographic replacement is a form of genocide." Genocide is when people specifically target certain people of a certain race, religion, etc. and are VIOLENT towards them. Just because people are getting access to the resources from a country that your ancestors stole from Native Americans, doesn't mean that anyone is trying to harm your culture at all. What do you really think is going to happen if you do end up becoming a "minority" here? Will all hell break loose? Will Lawry's sales triple as a result of the average American actually seasoning their food? Will Bass Pro Shop go out of business? Oh my.

Look, white people. You have almost every advantage in the world, and the reason that there are Black, Hispanic, Indian, and other culturally centered student organizations is because POC are not usually represented in pop-culture, in our history books, and in the news in a positive manner. We need spaces to express our concern and discuss our problems with people who understand them. Until you find something that really threatens your personal well-being, try opening your mind a tad. The doors to the Institute of Black Culture and La Casita are open to all.

xo -Crys.